Food Assistance

Ok, I have two separate back stories related to this topic, so stick with me please :)

Background:
Ok, so my grandfather my whole life has always made applesauce every fall and canned it, enough for the whole family for a year, and so on.
Well, this year because of health issues he didn't.
So I decided to learn how to make applesauce and also learn how to can it.
And I love it. For awhile I've been getting into cooking, and learning to make things from scratch. And now I'm expanding on that learning about canning and hopefully I will continue to learn more about it. Something about making things yourself is really enjoyable- same reason I like crafting.

So I've had this on my brain for awhile.

Unrelated to that, another recent topic in my life is that I was just approved for food assistance. (After only a couple months, dealing with a rude caseworker, and lots of ridiculousness that makes no sense which I have learned long before this experience based on the experiences of others is fairly normal for DHS).

So I've been googling a few things about food assistance, including why a stouffers vegetable lasagna was not eligible for it (I had to use my credit card for that). T
Didn't get an answer. The most relevant result was comment to some article about food assistance by someone saying how she would go grocery shopping with a neighbor and she would buy ingredients for lasagna while her neighbor would buy stouffers lasagnas and how she would spend half as much as her neighbor and how if you just put in the time (she said it took her half a day to cook that much lasagna and then would freeze it, clearly it did not dawn on her that some people don't have half a day to spend cooking) it's soo then the amount one gets on food assistance is more than enough money.

I also came across a funny post, which I'm pretty sure was meant to be sarcastic (I really hope) about the outrageousness of people being able to use food assistance to buy canned beans! (After all, dry beans are so much cheaper, they are wasting government money!)

Which I think makes a good point- really, how far do you take it? I know there is a lot of argument over whether or not food assistance should be able to be used at fast food places. And also arguments that it's ridiculous that food assistance can be used to buy pop and potato chips "which provide no nutritional value".
So, how far would you take such arguments? Should someone on food assistance be able to buy canned beans when you could just cook up some dry beans for cheaper? Should one be able to buy a loaf of bread when one could cook their own bread instead?

If we think that we should force "healthy habits" on food assistance recipients, what should be the cut off? Potato chips? Frozen pizza? Hot dogs? What about pickles? They don't provide much of anything except loads of sodium, which we all know causes high blood pressure!

I really hate the idea of forcing healthy habits on people. The truth is, poorer people do tend to eat less healthy because of aspects of poverty including costs of healthy foods (as well as not having lots of time to cook when you are working three part time jobs, or not having a working kitchen, et cetera.) And it would be awesome if people could help make healthier options available to people in this situations. But no. It's so much easier just to say "don't let them buy potato chips" or something.

The thing that really annoys me about it is people look at this problem- poor people don't tend to eat as healthily as higher income folks. And they see a problem with poor people of course. So, fix the problem by forcing poor people to, in their minds, act more like higher income folks (by making the "right" choices when shopping and not being so "lazy" by not cooking from scratch).

But that isn't the cause of the problem. The problem is the aspects of poverty that don't allow for the same choices. And trying to force poor people to eat healthier by restricting what they can buy with a bridge card, won't change that. It won't change the underlying problems people face that limit their choices.

Biggest Loser

I know, I know, why would I even bother? But Season 8 episode 8 of the biggest loser contestants go to the white house and learn healthy cooking from white house chefs.

Typical comments are made "no wonder the president is so thin..." and so on.

So they go make a salad from the white house garden. The salad is described as enough to feed an army (though it did not look like they got even close to filling that monstrously large salad bowl that made me wish I was president), and the estimated cost (all ingredients supposedly having been grown in the garden- though I wonder if the bothered to include dressing with that, and I'm pretty sure I saw dressing poured in there...) at $12 for all of it.

So Bob explains to use how this is proof that anyone can afford to eat healthy.

Yeah, if you have the means to grow your own food- has he never heard of apartment building?
And assuming you don't ever have a winter.
Then sure, grow a garden and eat salad everyday for every meal for super cheap.

Story Time!

I friend linked to this story about how growing up in a stress-full environment can lead to depression later in life, and it got me thinking about my environment growing up. I tend to kind of forget about some of the crazier aspects of my childhood sometimes. So, story time!

When I was about 7 I think, my mom was leaving my father again. We (me, my siblings, my mom, and my grandparents) went to get stuff from the house. My dad got mad so he pushed my grandmother off the porch, pulled us kids inside and locked the door. My mom and grandmother were outside trying to get him to open the door and let us out. Inside, with a gun, he threatened to kill my mom and grandmother.

Ok, so it's not a very detailed story. To be honest, I have a very patchy memory of this event. It's one thing my sister remembers more clearly than I do. I seem to have blocked out most of that event.

Apparently in school after this I mentioned it in class/to the teacher. I also don't remember this. I only know this because my mom still talks about when the teacher called her in to talk to her about me making stories in school, and my mom had to tell the teacher, no, that actually did happen.

My mom just laughs about it, but it kind of pisses me off. Why would you immediately jump to the assumption that a seven year old telling a story like that was making it up? Just one more thing to file into "fucked up aspects of my K-8 school".

More on Gang Rape Witnesses

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Health/witnesses-california-gang-rape-scared-call-police/story?id=9054150

There really needs to be more education for young people, in schools, about sexual assault. About what it is, about what consent is, about rape culture and about not allowing other to do it. How do you not feel at all responsible for witnessing an assault an doing nothing to stop it? Ok, so I understand being afraid of jumping in the middle, but go into the school and tell someone, call the police, you don't just stand there and watch.

Not Credible Victim Could Have Prevented Murders

http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/wirestory?id=9073002
It’s so horrifying to me the kind of power prosecutors have. When you are a victim of a crime, they have so much power to just brush what happened to you aside. I do not believe prosecutors should have that much discretion about taking cases to trial. There should be a greater legal requirements for them to take things to trial. I understand that sometimes people come to police with claims that are kind of ridiculous, have no proof, et cetera. But it is ridiculous how easy it is for a prosecutor to say they don’t think there is evidence, they don’t think you are credible, they don’t think your assault was really that bad, and that’s it. You can’t take that person to court (criminally) for it, you need a prosecutor to be onboard.
And most victims of rape who have prosecutors decide they aren’t credible, et cetera, never get this kind of public admittance that maybe that was a bad decision. I doubt this woman is glad he killed so many other women, I’m not saying that. But now a whole bunch of people are reading this thinking “why wouldn’t you do something about that?” And most people who find themselves in that situation never have that. We never hear about them
Gayle Williams, assistant county prosecutor, said the woman who accused Sowell of rape remains very fearful of him and is concerned for her safety.
"She was only breaths away from becoming another victim of Mr. Sowell," Williams said.
Except obviously she was a victim of his. Not a murder victim but a victim. Rape is still a victimization.
And I’m sure this is why we don’t hear about those other women who are not credible witnesses, because most rapists just rape. JUST. Who cares if he goes on to rape more women? Rape doesn’t leave decomposing corpses around, so it’s not so bad, right? It’s just rape.
Now, like most people, I’d rather just be raped that be murdered. But I’d really rather neither happened. They are both crimes. And it shouldn’t only be bad that we ignore rape when ignoring rape leads to more murders. Rape should be bad enough in and of itself.

Gang Rape At School Dance- Onlookers Do Nothing

A 15 year old girl is gang raped for 2.5 hrs outside a school dance at a high school in California while many other students watch and do nothing. While word spreads through the dance of what is going on more students come to watch and assault the girl.

What could I possibly say?
All I can do reading this is sit here staring at my screen with this deep.... fear?
I don't know how to describe it. I'm crying and I honestly feel scared having read this to walk out of my apartment at this moment. I'll get over it, because I have to, but right now my sense of safety is completely compromised. I feel I cannot trust any other person, because what the hell is happening that this large a group of people had no one who would do anything. ANYTHING. to stop it.
It feels like there is nothing I have not heard of at this point when it comes to sexual assault and abuse. And as often as you hear me talk about how our culture promotes sexual assaults, that we live in a rape culture, still when I read something like this I can't understand it. I can't understand it.
How? How can this happen?

Afraid of Men

So reading the comments to this got me thinking about the idea of women being afraid of men.

My first reaction to the main post was, awesome, but can we not act like all women do these things?
As a woman who may not tell anyone I'm going on a date, who walks alone outside at night, and who doesn't thing of rape right away when some guy approaches me, in fact I get only minimally freaked if someone is walking behind me for several blocks, I get annoyed with the ideal that all women, of course, do these things, I mean, duh, right? Possibly because I'm far to used to (well meaning women) telling me I should do these things. Sexual assault crisis intervention meetings often end with comments like "does anyone need a ride? I don't want anyone to have to walk outside after dark." and "if you have to walk home, walk with a buddy for safety!" and I often get reactions of almost horror that I walk outside alone at night to get there and back. So I get a little annoyed when people write like it's a given that women act this way.

However, unlike most women who are afraid of strange men in public and walking alone at night, I'm more worried about rape with someone I'm dating, in a relationship and often alone and vulnerable with.

Experience has taught me that those situations may not be as safe as they seem.

But I don't really consider it being afraid per say. I'm not on constant edge that I'll be raped. I consider a knowledge issue. I KNOW that I can't know for sure that you won't rape and abuse me. People I loved and trusted have. I've even worked with clients whose partners where not abusive for years, sometimes a lot of years, before the abuse began (and I don't just mean physical abuse, but also emotional abuse and overly controlling and jealous behaviors that are the common "warning signs".)

I don't live in constant fear, looking over my shoulder, expecting every person I date to hurt me. I just know it could happen. Sort of like how I know someone at any time of the road could come plowing into my car and kill me. I know my apartment could burn down. These are very real possibilities with varying risks. Being abused and raped by someone I love falls in the same category. Statistically it's something that happens a lot in our society. I can minimize my risk by being aware of sketchy signs early in the relationship like extreme jealousy, like I can minimize my risk by paying attention to what cars around me are doing when I'm driving. But it's never something that isn't a risk.

EDIT: I was thinking about this post today and I think I should probably clarify that the comments to that blog post that made me think of this where primarily the ones that were of the "OMG HOW ARE YOU AFRAID OF MEN ALL THE TIME!?!" variety. Though also influence by comments about being afraid strange men may be rapists until one gets to know that guy better to know he isn't. The things is, if you open the box you can see if the cat is alive or dead. But with Schrödinger’s Rapist, he can prove he is a rapist by raping, but not raping now doesn't prove a lack of raping in the future. So he remains a potential rapist.

Deleting blog?

So I woke up this morning to find a comment to my blog in my email and I was like "wonder what that says".
This is what it said:

Who molested you as a child??!! You should consider serious therapy so you can grow up and act like an adult. Is there anything that doesn't offend you?? Wake up the world isn't perfect and never will be. You live a sad existence and I hope you will get the help you desperately need. You describe yourself as all these different things; man-hating, bi, socialist etc. Truly you don't know who you are and are trying to hide behind all these different titles. I hope one day you will find yourself and start enjoying the good things in life and stop being so petty and annoying. Good luck.

Shit like this doesn't bother me a ton. But ya gotta admit it's a kind of crappy way to start one's morning.

This blog seems to spark a lot of hate, even when I'm not doing anything with it. I kind of expect it, but it's also kind of annoying when I don't even have the time to keep up this blog like I would like to.

Right now, this is the absolute bottom of my priorities. I'm working near full time, going to school full time and apply for grad schools among the other various minor things in my life. Oh, and I still volunteer! And as always I have health issues. So while I would love to update this regularly and have so many things I should post a bout, like the woman I know in the area who was sexually assaulted by co-workers and recently went public with the story to help raise awareness about shaming. Or about the book I read The New Rules of Lifting for Women because I would like to start strength training and I didn't know where to start or what to do. Or an update on some previous posts that I have revised my thoughts on.

But I just feel like I don't have the time and energy for in depth discussions of these things at this time. And I feel like I'm talking to myself when I do post.

So anyways, I am considering just deleting this blog and maybe in the future coming back and doing a new one? Though the backing up all my entries onto my computer will be difficult. But it seems silly to have this and do nothing with it except collect hate mail.

My question is, is there anyone who actually reads this and would prefer I not delete it so that you can know when I do get around to posting regularly again? Because if I delete this I kind of lose my way of contacting anyone who might actually read it.

How to Get Health Care Reform

So I'm not dead! Just haven't had time to post anything.

The thing that bothers me the most about health care reform, is that if congresspeople where required to have the same health insurance as the government offers other people (right now that would be medicaid/medicare depending on age.)

If that was the case, we would have health care reform pretty damn fast! But since as it stands right now, they get to decide how much they make and what their benefits are, that's not going to happen. From my understanding, we'd basically have to pass a constitutional amendment to pass such a thing.

Which seems impossible. Even though, at least here in Michigan where the economy really sucks and we don't have enough state money for all our programs and employees, a LOT of people are getting pissed off at our politicians who want to cut everything else, and make everyone else (state employees) take pay cuts, but never seem to consider applying such things to themselves.

I'm also thinking that congresspeople should make minimum wage. We'd also have a living wage real quick!
Now there are a lot more problems there though in that making $7.40/hour is actually not bad if you are a dependent still, and just working for beer money, like some of my peers here do.
It's not enough though if you are a single mom with several kids trying to support your family.
Problem is, if you set different standards there, then you just take work away from those women who need it more.
(Sort of like how work study rules state I can't get paid holiday pay. I suspect this rule was created with the idea that this would mean work study people don't work holidays. In practice it meant I got paid regular time to work Christmas day last year, and I will get paid regular time to work Thanksgiving day next month.)

However, I still think if you feel other people can and should live on that kind of income, and you are actually the ones deciding that for those people, then you should be able to live on that kind of income.

It also pisses me off because while I don't expect to make minimum wage, it's likely I won't make much more than $25,000/year with a masters doing social work. (I could, if I got a clinical MSW and did private therapy. That's not my career plan. I'm thinking more along the lines of community organizing). $25,000/year was the pay for an ACORN job I saw once, which did not actually require a degree. According to my googling $31,923/year is the median community organizer pay. Which comes out to something like $15-$16/hr if one works only 40 hrs a week, which is probably unlikely.

And it's expected that I be happy being paid far less than $174,000/year because (I've been told this many times by people not in the field) it's made up for by that fact that I'm helping people and doing this great saintly work. And saints don't ask to make $174,00 a year.

Congresspeople aren't supposed to be saintly. Helping people is hardly even mentioned at part of the job, let alone supposed to be considered pay in and off itself. By why not? I think we need to start seeing politics as "helping work" like social work. Something you're expected to do because your passionate about helping people. Not something you do because it has awesome pay and benefits and you can get away with murder. (Sometimes literally).

How Oppression Olympics Hurt Our Movements.

I was reading this salon article about LPA action against the use of the m-word.

Reading all the Oppression Olympics style comments about "Imagine if I said what Herschel Walker did about a black person", "In this p.c. world, I don't see why we're the last group it's OK to make fun of", and of course "The "M-word" should be considered as unacceptable as the "N-word"* it would easy for me to rattle off some snarky responses. But as a white woman of average height, that's probably not my place to do. I'm not in one of the groups being hurt by these comparisons so it would be inappropriate for me to appropriate that anger.

*Yes, apparently this analogy was also made by a back woman. But that does not erase the fact that many white people, who have no idea what it means to be called the n-word, made that analogy as well.

That said, I think this is a good example of how Oppression Olympics hurts not only the group being competed against, in this case, as is most usual, people of color, but also how it also hurts the movement that is using the Oppression Olympics to try to further their cause.

These comparisons might work for white people of average height. But that's it.
When these comparisons are made to POC of average height (and maybe those of short stature) the reaction is likely to be anger over white people assuming they know what it's like to be a POC or to be called the N-word. (This might not be the reaction of every individual, but you can be guaranteed it will be the reaction of a significant number of individuals). It takes the focus off the argument about why ableism, sexism, heterosexism, et cetera. Instead, it transfers to focus to white people talking about something they don't understand. And by doing that separates us, instead of bringing people of different oppressions together to work together on multiple oppressions.

In the end, whether we are talking about people with disabilities, women, LGBTQQI people, fat people et cetera, by making these comparisons to racism, implying that our oppressions are just like racism, and that our oppressions are more acceptable than racism, all we are really doing is creating a wedge between our movements and anti-racism movements. We are pushing away people of color who should be our natural allies.

Since we all have the similar goal of ending oppression, it would make a lot more sense to work together. Which, white people, does not mean assuming people of color will always be there to help with your battles only. This is a mistake that has been made by many LGB organizations, especially when it's come to gay marriage laws, just assuming that people of color should support their movements without making the effort to support the movements run by people of color. Part of coalition building means you need to show up for issues other than yours. Contact anti-racism organizations, see what they are organizing. Are they working on a letter writing campaign? Are they organizing a protest? Ask how to help out with that. By getting involved in that organization you can introduce people to your organization. And the next time you are organizing a protest, maybe they will be involved.

Unfortunately I saw this happen most when YAF was big at MSU, with women's organizations, POC organizations and LGB organizations on campus working together and supporting each other when there was this common enemy who was working against the well being of all our organizations. But we shouldn't need a common enemy like YAF to encourage us to work together and support each other.